and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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