he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
