I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
