he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
