Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
