Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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