Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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