Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
