sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
