This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
