How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
