Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
