I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
did you just send me my own nude
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
