I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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