in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
