Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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