...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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