Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Your penis caused this!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
