This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm at about main and main street
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
