good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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