look no pants
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
