we're blogging at a bar
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
