I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
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