All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The adults are the big ones right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
