Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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