We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
