that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
