Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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