Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
