I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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