Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
