I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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