He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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