Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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