When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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