so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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