Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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