don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
farters have to be the big spoon...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
