dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
