I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
