please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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