I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
