what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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