I cockslap morals
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will be naked everywhere
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
