it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
