the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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