Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
