I look better un-naked...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
