i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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