why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
