I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
