I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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